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# Re: Socialization

#### Message 02460 of 3835

- To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
- Subject: Re: Socialization
- From: "antiloop1111" <jasoncorell@...>
- Date: Sat, 17 Apr 2004 23:19:02 -0000
- In-reply-to: <c5s327+4ado@eGroups.com>
- User-agent: eGroups-EW/0.82

    Hello again Daniel,

    > I find it very difficult to accept that the problem is in my
    > surroundings and not in some facet of my own actions, but I just
    > don't know what is it, or what can I do...?

    Do not blame yourself for their actions. If you still find it
    difficult, perhaps you have travelled too far in the opposite
    direction. There is no need to be overly "soft", or otherwise people
    will trample all over you. Remember the pillars of mercy and
    severity, do not travel in either extreme, take the middle path.

    When they ask you or get upset at you for not getting angry, just be
    honest with them:

    "Look you guys, you all know that I used to react with anger before,
    but after years of acting this way I have come to the conclusion that
    being angry does not make me feel happy. Who can say that they are
    happy and at the same time that they are angry? When I realized that
    didn't make sense for me, and that I was not happy, I decided to
    change myself. So now I chose not to act angry and I feel much better
    this way. What you chose for yourselves is your prerogative. Only you
    can know what is best for you. I believe I understand your situation
    because I used to react in anger like you did, but you each have
    minds of your own and you each have choices, so if the choice to be
    angry is not making you happy, then try a different approach. Please
    don't judge me for trying to be a happier person, I am not judging
    you for being angry, all I am saying is that I can understand it
    because I used to act that way. I accept you the way you are, I am
    feeling some pressure from you guys and I wish you would also just
    accept me for who I am."

    If all else fails and things get worse and you are having a hard time
    being amongst them, then remember the words of Confucius: "If justice
    & righteousness does not prevail in a kingdom, then leave it!".

    In the same way you chose not to be angry, you will have
    opportunities to make other choices. Just be careful you do not
    sacrifice your own well being, progress and happiness for their
    ignorance, suffering and anger. This is not to sound pretentious, it
    simply looking at the facts.

    Cheers,
    antiloop1111

- References:
  - Re: Socialization
    - From: "Daniel Gutmanas" <noxerus@...>

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