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# Re: Some problems i created

#### Message 02071 of 3835

- To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
- Subject: Re: [BardonPraxis] Some problems i created
- From: mark towse <bigimpact2003@...>
- Date: Mon, 19 Jan 2004 17:20:56 +0000 (GMT)
- In-reply-to: <buglh0+l06m@eGroups.com>

    Hi Kos,

    Don't worry too much - it's a very strange experience when you are actually
    faced with reality (or in the early stages of the work a glimpse in to a much
    wider reality) and yes, it will freak you out a bit but don't for a second
    worry about being mad. Any negative feelings are elements of your personality
    which don't want to give up their hold on your previous "normality". Whilst
    your willpower tackle and resolve issues about what you thought you know any
    depression, anxiety, paranoia, worry etc. will disappear as you go on and gain
    understanding.

    Seems you are also worrying about certin things for nothing; if you worry about
    people finding out you have psychic powers, perhaps you need to get some - if
    you catch my drift. Creating a negative situation beofre it exists is a
    character imbalance; fortunately these get tackled early!

    Specific pain you feel, if it has no physical symptom (diet, exercise, booze
    and tabs etc.), is likley to be because you are using parts of your mind which
    haven't been used before - iagine going to the gym and pumping hard fro a
    montha fter you never have before, fine for a while and then you ache to
    buggery.

    Simply put, take a pill and chil - keep doing the exercises and don't worry.
    Perspective will sort its self out with more knowledge; the full akasha
    principle won't make itself fully apparent to you before you are ready or
    specifically in step 5 (off hand). Just enjoy the ride and remember, it isn't
    what other people think that counts.

    Mark

    kos_kou4 <kos_kou4@...> wrote:
    Hello friends,

    I started Bardon's course 5 months ago but it seems that I
    misunderstood some things. When I was just doing the meditations
    everything was ok but someday I read from these forums, and I
    thought, that with step 1 exercises the mind will be controlled and
    that I have allways to observe my thoughts. At the beginning
    everything was ok but I also was convinced that "now I will control
    my mind". One day I read in this forum that someone always has to
    observe his thoughts. So, I decided to really force myself to always
    observe my thoughts, I always had in my mind to observe my thoughts
    and I , mentally not physically, didn't do anything else except
    this. At the first day I was doing this it was ok, but in the
    evening I noticed that I had a pain in my head, some difficulty in
    concentration and I felt a little distand from everything. But I
    thought that in the morning I will be ok. At the next morning I was
    exactly the same and I had an anxious feeling and a real pressure
    inside my head. I begun to get scared about this but I didn't stop
    forcing myself to observe thoughts. At the end of that day the
    symptoms was worse and I was observing myself to move,talk,walk but
    it wasn't me that doing these. I was in a daze and I felt like
    something dragging me from reality. So, while I was observing myself
    doing things I started to think how am I doing these, how am I
    walk?, think?, whats the process of thinking? and generally things
    about how unconsious works. These thoughts made me really desperate
    and anxious because they have no answer and I just seeing them
    happening. I stopped to observe thoughts but it was out of control.
    The other day I remember that I had this thought "it seems that from
    now on I will be like this (a terrible force,pain inside my head,
    very anxious and very distand from reality) because it had to be
    like this, but I want to go back". When I saw that I couldn't go
    back and I was in a situation that I couldn't escape from it I had
    the strongest negative feeling I've ever had, a feeling of
    insecurity, desparation and helpless, and I thought that I am mad.
    After that I stopped Bardon's course and I was in this very
    unconfortable situation for 3 days. At the end of that third day I
    remember telling myself "this is nothing you just overdo it with
    observing thoughts, you are very sensitive and that's why you felt
    like this" and I was normal again! All the symptoms left in a second
    and I was healthy again. I started Bardon's course again and for 1
    month I was ok. But one day I had this thought "while taking
    Bardon's course maybe someday discover that I have psychic abilities
    of a phenomenal nature and that is a situation that I can never
    escape from, like the other I had a month ago" and the symptoms just
    came back but not so strong as the other time. I was in this
    situation for 3 months. I was anxious, felt a force inside my head,
    could't concentrate, felt like being in a daze, couldn't let myself
    go something bothered me all the time, there was times that I
    thought about unconsious work and I felt desparate, felt like trying
    to control whatever I said and did and this made me to speak very
    little and at nights before I sleep I sometimes felt that everything
    is a lie and something drugging me somewhere. All these was untill
    yesterday and today I went to a therapist and he told me that this
    (observing myself) was just a different kind of conciousness. But I
    didn't expect to see this conciousness, I expected when I was
    started to always observing my thoughts that I will have a change in
    my personality that will last, to observe my thoughts. And that's
    why when I felt like this(observing myself)I thought that was a
    naturall situation,a change, that will last forever and not just an
    another kind of consiousness. And it was from this that I thought
    that there is no turning back from that really unconfortable
    situation I was. I thought that I would have a change that will
    last, this change was anxious and negative emotions, and subconsious
    gave me these negative feelings as a change that will last. When I
    understand this misunderstood of mine I was again ok, but I feel
    oversensitive and afraid of changes.
    What I would really like from you please is to tell me your opinion
    about these, what should I do and how real changes comes in this
    course. Because if a change as psychic abilities comes to me as my
    personality is now this will be really scary and catastrophic. Also
    I can see that I can reach that state of consiousness very easily.
    Is this state "a safeguard" from negative emotions and thoughts?

    Thank you for your time

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- References:
  - Some problems i created
    - From: "kos_kou4" <kos_kou4@...>

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