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# Different types of mind

#### Message 01245 of 3835

- To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
- Subject: Different types of mind
- From: "Regulus Magus" <RegulusMagus@...>
- Date: Fri, 08 Aug 2003 14:02:45 -0500
- Bcc:

    Greetings to All!

`I read (not without some envy) about the positive "addictions" of Rawn and Peter. I--on the other hand--live at the other end of the bell curve. I find the exercises of steps 1 and 2 to be enormously unpleasant. It may indeed be that this is simply not my path but when I reflect on my problems with the Bardon regimen I think the primary issue is psychological rather than spiritual.`
`By "psychological" I don't mean a dysfunction that needs to be fixed - rather, I am beginning to suspect that the normal and healthy operation of my mind is at odds with the requirements of the exercises. I have an extremely active and vivid inner life that gives me great pleasure. Moreover I seem to need this constant inner stimulation in the same way as I need to breathe. My powers of concentration are good (I can shut out all but extreme pain--for example--simply by paying close attention to my inner activity). Nor is my stream of consciousness particularly random. My "mental chatter" is full of analysis, observation, calculation (I'm a research scientist by trade), inference, synthesis and so on. I am the typical absent minded professor - I once passed my wife on the street without recognizing her because I was so involved with my thoughts (and didn't I get an earful about that!). :)`
`Here's what happens when I work on "one pointed" concentration or "vacancy of mind." The first minute or two are psychologically neutral. Then gradually but with increasing intensity I feel a sensation that I call "boredom." It's like a mental heaviness mixed with a kind of thirsting for sensation. At first I can dismiss it but it grows apparently without bounds until the intensity becomes mentally and emotionally painful. Eventually I reach a point at which I can't stand it for even another moment. I then resume my normal inner life and at that point I feel an inrush of joy and relief - not unlike that first drink of cool water when you're VERY thirsty.`
`I mean no criticism of the wisdom of Bardon, but for me Hermetic discipline seems a bleak and painful path.`

    Sincerely, /RM/

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