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# Lost the way?

#### Message 01994 of 3835

- To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
- Subject: Lost the way?
- From: "Martin" <martincosgrove@...>
- Date: Tue, 23 Dec 2003 19:41:11 -0000
- User-agent: eGroups-EW/0.82

    Hi everyone,

    I have not posted a message here for quite some time (around six
    months I believe) and it is the reason(s) for this which prompts me
    to write now. I am in search of some support and guidance, but a
    good kick up the wotsit probably wouldn't go amiss either.

    A little over a year ago, I received IIH and began work on Step One
    and for about six months I worked on the exercises and keenly
    followed the various discussions on this group. I had completed my
    soul mirrors, was working on the phyiscal exercises and had moved on
    to the third mental exercise which is where I felt I hit an impass.
    I reached a point of meditating at least twice a day (during my
    Summer holidays) and felt as if I would never progress with the
    emptiness of mind exercise. I remember making a hazy decision to
    just continue meditating without striving for any particular goal
    but then felt as if I had nothing to motivate me.

    Then my exam results were published and I had something else to
    focus on (one of my main problems is that I do find it difficult to
    concentrate on more than one 'major' thing at a time - I have always
    shifted from one project to another and then back again.)

    For about six months I concentrated on my teacher training course
    and any spiritual work was firmly pushed to the side.

    Now I suddenly feel I must refocus on my spiritual development and
    have had a strong urge to read about esoteric/spiritual topics. I am
    currently reading 'Hermetica' and 'The Book of the Sacred Magic of
    Abramelin the Mage'. Now, I don't know how much of a coincidence it
    is that my Christmas holidays have just begun...

    My focus on my spiritual development seems to wax and wane in six
    month cycles and I do not know whether to accept this as the way
    things are or find a way to change it.

    I do feel silly posting this message asking other people for advice
    on how to sort out my life, believe me, which is why I have left it
    so long.

    I guess on a more practical note, one of the major problems is the
    fact that when I am teaching, I am tired when I come home and then
    have to prepare the next day's lessons and then just want to go to
    bed and if I tried to meditate then, I think I would just wind up
    falling asleep.

    Also, if I do find a way of incorporating the practice of IIH into
    my life again, would you recommend starting again from scratch
    including the re-working of my soul mirrors?

    Thank you in advance to anyone who has any suggestions or advice.

    All the best,

    Martin

- Follow-Ups:
  - Re: Lost the way?
    - From: "Alan Cook" <fish_studios@...>
  - Re: Lost the way?
    - From: "Rawn Clark" <rawnclark@...>

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