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# Re: transition to step two?

#### Message 01842 of 3835

- To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
- Subject: Re: transition to step two?
- From: "David Yeh" <ldreamr@...>
- Date: Sun, 23 Nov 2003 21:45:28 -0000
- In-reply-to: <LAW14-F11TmRZ36BQLz00000732@...>
- User-agent: eGroups-EW/0.82

    Hi Stephen,

    Yeah, I'm just becoming aware of how elusive the emptiness of mind
    practice is for me because I bring an agenda to my practice --
    I "chase" emptiness. When I achieve small moments of it I crow my
    triumph to myself and of course I lose it then. So I get frustrated
    which starts the whole cycle over again.

    I definitely do not "want" to be mindful. I mean sometimes I really
    struggle against it. When I eat I would rather read or talk than
    focus on my food, much less imagine myself taking in a wish. I
    speculate that this has something to do with feeling uncomfortable at
    meals with my family when I was younger. I think when I tell
    myself, "Okay, David, you can't do these other fun things like read
    or talk, you have to not think of anything but this wish," I react as
    if I were being coerced. And who would want to let himself be
    coerced.

    It seems that I need to tackle these feelings, otherwise I won't be
    able to progress.

    David

    --- In BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com, "Stephen Miller"
    <qwertyguy3@h...> wrote:
    > For me Step One and Step Two have been a continuous, very
    frustrating, but
    > always interesting cycle. The visualization exercises have become
    a sort of
    > exam to see how I'm doing on character transformation. I had very
    little
    > trouble with the Step One mental exercises, but when it came to the
    Step Two
    > exercises, I had no luck at all when what seemed to be mental
    control turned
    > out to be in part due to repressed emotions. The most important
    thing is to
    > stay introspective. Remember that the mental chatter depends on
    emotions to
    > sustain itself. For some reason, some part of yourself does not
    want to be
    > mindful at the moment. I can possibly give some tips of you want
    to
    > describe your problem more.
    >
    > Stephen M.

- References:
  - Re: Re: transition to step two?
    - From: "Stephen Miller" <qwertyguy3@...>

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