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# RE: Re: What does it mean to become noble concerning passions?

#### Message 03521 of 3835

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- Subject: RE: [BardonPraxis] Re: What does it mean to become noble concerning passions?
- From: "Lori V Weber" <lorivw@...>
- Date: Sun, 23 Jan 2005 15:19:28 -0500
- Importance: Normal
- In-reply-to: <009501c50175$cbdd0c30$3fb63542@ownerbqacdlzy6>

    I used to think I had difficulty with the step 2 introspection because I
    honestly believed there wasn't much wrong. And what's amazing is that I
    really believed this AFTER listing all the 100+ soul mirror traits. So
    my ambitious strategy was to tackle one sin a day for just over 100 days
    and - ta da! - become a saint. I wasn't going to let anything or anyone
    bother me. And this approach would have worked just fine if I'd never
    left my house. However, I have two jobs and a bevy of kids and needed
    to go out quite a bit.

    And then, when I was literally sweating my way through the painful
    process of discovering (not exactly learning, but truly seeing for the
    first time) that 100 days wasn't going to cut it, the gods presented me
    with a few gifts. Although I was oblivious to their value at the time,
    I encountered a few folks who make Sr. Mary Elephant (from the Blues
    Brothers movie) look like Mother Theresa. One person loved to berate
    all his subordinates in front of anyone who was available. There were a
    few others, but this particular guy became one of my biggest teachers,
    albeit unknowingly. Sometimes it's still hard to thank him in
    meditations, but if it wouldn't have been for him, I would never have
    figured out that I needed to do more mirror work, and approach it a bit
    more realistically.

    The only thing that works for me is to develop a habit of catching
    myself slipping. Yes, it's nice to know which element is out of whack,
    but I think that may be secondary to just noticing my response to
    whatever seemingly external event is irking me. I'm still not there,
    but simply seeing a chain of events begin to unfold - to trigger
    dark-mirror responses - can be enough to stop the problem from ever
    happening. I used to actually believe that a defensive and sulky
    response was perfectly justified (and sometimes I still do!) when
    certain things would happen - usually when someone yelled at me at work
    or when my baseball team lost a game or when the toilet was overflowing
    because someone flushed an action figure, or when a piece of good work
    got shot down by another boss.

    I wasn't ready to deal with the big root problem of my response.
    Sometimes I still can't, but these days I can sit down with my dark
    mirror and not want to get rid of it; instead I can look at things and
    ask myself what can I do to change them? So, I'd take one aspect of my
    reaction. Just one. And I'd tell myself to be on guard all day long
    for the feeling of . whatever (say, sulky - but it could be anything).
    And then I'd look for the antecedent. What made me feel that way? What
    was the mental issue? What were my emotions? What was I doing
    physically to process it? If I could get to my notebook with my mirror,
    I'd write it down. If not, I'd just hold it in my awareness for awhile
    and ask myself why this response was occurring. And it was unbelievable
    to me, but I found that I could change my response. Of all the Bardon
    work in IIH - heck, of all the school work I'd ever done - this was the
    most amazing thing that I've ever learned. When I'd meditate on that
    one thing, I could see a pattern that would kinda work like a domino
    effect on bunches of other dark reactions. And all because all I did
    was notice. However, I don't think any amount of meditating on my
    mirror would have helped me unless it had been coupled with those awful
    experiences.

    There are some aspects that are so painful to deal with that it's hard
    to tackle them as "the big things" - in and of themselves. And that's
    why I think a typical reaction is to overanalyze them. When I'd read
    through my mirror, especially early on, I'd see so much ka ka that I'd
    close it and just think about how much better I was than everyone else.
    ;-) ;-) ;-) So, I'd see everything I thought I needed to change and
    then I'd see these problems in everyone around me. Of course, I knew I
    had these issues too, but remember, I didn't think I was all that bad.
    This goes back to my "100-sins-in-100-days approach." Doing the work
    required me to see my warts without then turning them into a false badge
    of honor. And one of the things that I needed was to let go of
    processing them. On one hand, I needed to look at them, but on the
    other, I really didn't want to see them. And then I needed to learn to
    just quietly sit with one reaction - just one - and trace it back to
    where it came from. I've found that even though it was not easy to
    scrutinize myself, it even became possible to watch my reaction to how I
    scrutinized, and I found that pining over my faults could take on its
    own need to be let go. Just because something is on the mirror's dark
    side, doesn't mean it's bad in itself. It's just there until I figure
    out how to use it. And I'm still doing a lot of figuring ;-)

    I didn't mean to ramble so long, but there seem to be a lot of postings
    about mirror work and introspection. As someone who's greatly benefited
    from this phase of IIH, I'd just like to offer encouragement to keep
    doing it.

    lori

    -----Original Message-----
    From: Rawn Clark [mailto:rawnclark@...]
    Sent: Sunday, January 23, 2005 1:00 PM
    To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
    Subject: Re: [BardonPraxis] Re: What does it mean to become noble
    concerning passions?

    Dear Ravi,

    >> If at anytime you feel i am belaoring a fairly obvious point , please
    feel free to say so. <<

    It does concern me that this discussion has centered so much around
    'what if's and around what *others* *might* encounter but not about
    *your* own experience of these matters. This, like so much in Hermetic
    *initiation*, only reveals itself to your full understanding *when* you
    actually are engaged in the work itself (e.g., Jerry's recent post).
    When the intellectual refinement of a question needs to be pursued to
    the nth degree, it is often a sign that more time needs to be spent in
    the actual practice and that the information you're really hungry for
    will be found there, instead of in the intellectual explanation, no
    matter how concise it might be.

    >> Fair Enough .If I hear you right what you are saying is that the real
    "inner voice" would *never* say "Kill" or "Dominate Others ". Underlying
    this there seems to be an assumption that there is a *Universal* system
    of values (and consequently "rights" and "wrongs"),irrespective of place
    ,time and situation. <<

    What did you think Bardon's listing of the positive and negative
    characteristics was about if not a *universal* statement of positive
    BEing? We each however, *express and manifest* the Universal essence in
    our own unique ways within the temporal realm. We personalize the
    Universal. The point of initiation and of the character transformation
    specifically is to *consciously* manifest our personal expression of the
    Universal qualities of BEing.

    >> a)the 'cultural difficulty' problem. I am an avid student of
    history. Consequently I am aware of how much of our "value system" is
    dependent on the cultural milieu in which we grow up. <<

    How *you* feel *inside* is not rooted in your culture. It is *modified*
    by your culture, but the root is in *you* (i.e., the Individual Self).

    >> b)the 'real world effectiveness' problem <<

    I don't understand what you're trying to say here. If you think that
    the character transformation work is "fluffy bunny" or leads in some way
    to "fluffy bunnyness" then it is clear you are not talking from
    practical experience. I suggest that you focus on practice and see for
    yourself. The character transformation work anchors you very clearly in
    THIS world. :)

    >> c)the "what do i do in practice" problem
    I think *in practice" at step one , <<

    If this is what you *think* then try it out and see if it *works*. :)
    All of your speculations about what might or might not be possible have
    yet to be tested through experience. Hermetic *initiation* (as opposed
    to the intellectual study and speculation) is founded upon *your*
    *experience*.

    My best to you,
    :) Rawn Clark
    23 Jan 2005
    rawnclark@...
    rawn@...
    http://www.ABardonCompanion.com
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BardonPraxis
    http://E.webring.com/hub?ring=arionthebardonwe

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