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# Vacany of Mind

#### Message 00041 of 3835

- To: <BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com>
- Subject: Vacany of Mind
- From: "Martin Cosgrove" <martincosgrove@...>
- Date: Sat, 28 Dec 2002 13:58:45 -0000
- References: <1041053035.724.86229.m10@yahoogroups.com>

    Dear Group,

    I have been working on the Step One vacancy of mind exercise for a couple of
    weeks now, and seeing how I have been on holiday (vacation for the
    Americans! LOL), I have had a lot of time to practice. I would say that I
    have attempted the exercise around 25 times with varying degrees of success.

    My best result was around 9 minutes of 'semi vacancy of mind' i.e. some
    thoughts did intrude from time to time but I managed to dismiss them. But
    there doesn't seem to be any definite progression, as the last few days I
    have had a really tough time with this exercise. I find it very frustrating
    at times, and this morning I think I figured out why. As I wasn't having
    much luck 'controlling' my thoughts, I decided to observe them as try to
    sort out what was actually going on in this twisted little head of mine...
    the main problem seems to be that many of my most intrusive thoughts are of
    an auditory nature; I almost always think with an internal dialogue, which
    in itself can be frustrating ('OK, vacant mind...damn, I just thought that,
    ooops, I'm thinking again! Stop thinking... I can't!...') but even worse
    than that is that I discovered today that there is this other strand of
    auditory thought which seems to be totally random, is not 'my voice' and is
    VERY difficult for me to control. The 'snippets' of voices can be male or
    female (usually male) and can just be random phrases ('turn left',
    'Australian Sports Association' etc....). Man, I hope my psychiatrist isn't
    reading this! LOL... anyway, I also have random visualisations, but I find
    those a little easier to control, it's these random voices and snippets of
    thoughts that I am having a lot of difficulty with.

    Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can deal with this? I was
    thinking about moving back a step to focusing on one single thought, but I
    am not sure if that is the right thing to do... is there any technique that
    can aid me here?

    I realize that I have already had great benefit from step one just through
    realizing that my thoughts are so cluttered and this had made me more
    determined to stick with it and to sort this brain of mine out! I just would
    like a little help/advice.

    Thanks,

    Martin
    I've always been a great believer in asking questions in order to
    probe a new subject.

    Thanks again,

    Martin

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