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# Re: Recurring fear

#### Message 00217 of 3835

- To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
- Subject: Re: [BardonPraxis] Recurring fear
- From: Andrew Llewellyn <andrew@...>
- Date: Thu, 16 Jan 2003 23:17:23 +0000
- In-reply-to: <20030116145708.29123.qmail@...>

    Hi NB,

    Seems like you may have created a larvae. In my experience I reckon the
    best thing to do is either a) ignore it , b) use your imagination - perhaps
    a shield around your person? or c) observe your fear in your mind.

    Cheers,

    Andy

    At 06:57 16/01/03 -0800, you wrote:
    >After 1-2 weeks working on the first exercise of the
    >first level (!), I was obliged to recognize that a
    >peculiar, specific and recurring problem was
    >preventing a "full scale concentration" during my
    >practice.
    >
    >This problem is a fear of being disrupted or assaulted
    >during the exercise (even if I'm alone in my flat),
    >which obliges me to keep a certain portion of my mind
    >observing and watching, the result being that only
    >60-80 % of my consciousness are allocated to the
    >exercise, while the rest is "expecting something to
    >happen".
    >
    >Physical assaults and disruptions took place in the
    >past I must say (outside meditations, but frequently
    >when I was quiet), so my "strategy" became to be
    >always alert, with the "alarm switched <on>".
    >I know this sounds quite pathological, but I need to
    >solve it - and I'm gonna solve it this time.
    >
    >In the past, the fact that I was fearing something
    >each time I meditated had a funny side-effect, meaning
    >that I learned to reach alpha level and deeper quite
    >rapidly (getting eyes movements etc.) as well as
    >coming back earlier than the other students. Although
    >I had good results from my visualizations, all this
    >doesn't help me now when practicing the Bardon system,
    >which implies staying in the exercise a fixed amount
    >of time.
    >
    >...And I realize now that I was never 100 % in my
    >previous practices, regardless of what I may have
    >believed at that time, and that this fear was present
    >at the back of my mind all the time - even outside my
    >meditations. Always unconsciously looking above my
    >shoulder, so to speak.
    >
    >I obviously tried to look at the elements-related
    >components (Fire and Air and Water maybe, not to speak
    >about Earth :-), but I have problems determining what
    >belongs to the cause, to the effect, and especially
    >what the cure is :-)
    >
    >How can I solve that ? How can I suppress that fear ?
    >
    >Many thanks
    >NB
    >
    >
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- References:
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    - From: Newbieonekenhobby <newbieonekenhobby@...>

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