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# Re: First 3 steps- questions-experience-clarification

#### Message 03394 of 3835

- To: BardonPraxis@yahoogroups.com
- Subject: Re: First 3 steps- questions-experience-clarification
- From: "setiamon" <setiamon@...>
- Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004 19:44:21 -0000
- In-reply-to: <001601c4e3ae$16f22880$15b63542@ownerbqacdlzy6>
- User-agent: eGroups-EW/0.82

    > No. Just *observe*. This is different than "following" a train of
    > thoughts. Just observe, without *any* involvement, whatever transpires,
    > even if by detaching from participation in its workings, your mind
    > happens to quiet itself. Just *observe* :)
    >

    Very curious i'm having more trouble grasping this then i would of
    thought...

    I find that if i "observe" a thought my will poors into that thought
    train impowering it,giving it its own gravity..

    am i to assume that the underlining will/energy as long as it is
    formless can flow into the thoughttrain as long as the observing
    "self" doesn't connect directly to that thoughttrain or ride
    it?Because if i cease all will it ceeases the thoughts/movements of
    the conciousness,its like sitting in a puddle of dark water(the
    unconciouss)to which the will/energy flows from if you know what i
    mean?i might be aware of this prematurly(at least sooner then bardon
    assumes which is why he doesn't mention this) since I used to go into
    trances (physical paralysis acompanied with a 'door" opening up and
    moving inward to the unconciouss,have you ever experienced anything
    like this??)

    from what i take it the point is to retain the "Ego" or Sense of self
    in its bubble and just observe the exterior sphere of random thoughts
    emerging from the unconciouss?as long as no thought-webs form and
    attach that ego with the thought-patterns in that exterior
    thought-sphere?If I do this i feel some sense of alignment with the
    unconciouss will like i'm being fed/revitalized,i assume this is a
    good sign??

    the second excercise

    If i am correct you are saying that the point is meerly to focus on
    the "seed" of thought in the unconcioussness(Gnosis/blackball) and not
    let ones awareness flow to the layer of images/movements/material
    expressions and associations?but its okay to have that sphere of
    expressions to be in ones concioussness?like if i focus on the thought
    of a watermelon I just have to focus on the underlinining impulse or
    "thought" of the watermelon and just not let the arising
    aossciations(sight,smell,waste,weight,texture) draw ones will away
    from the underlining formless seedthought of the watermelon?

    3rd "going with fear" at times these negative images seem to be coming
    at me but i resist them because of their ugliness,sometimes though
    these things fly into me as soon as i see them so i don't have time to
    put up my defenses and oddly anuff i feel as if they dissolve into
    me,vitalizing me somewhat(not a negative experience) and othertimes
    they even produce a physical effect of being jolted if you know what i
    mean?like a minor kundalini movement.

    If i ascertain you advice correctly then

    1 i should be observing the dynamic with my mind without leting direct
    channels form between the ego(ball of action) and the exterior sphere
    of thoughts/potentialities

    2 focus on a thought-seed but don't try and supress the arising
    associations like i'v been doining?

    and 3 simple purify ones conciouss of all but the ego of
    awareness?hacking down thoughts before they cross the boarder from
    the formless unconciouss to this material-thought-sphere(if you know
    what i mean)

    if i can symbolize it like this

    unconciouss will ->
    conciouss ego is 0
    thought patterns before conciouss and after ~
    the boarder is | between unconciouss and ego
    excercise one is ->|0 ~
    excercise two is ->~|0
    ecercise three is ->|0 -~

    dunno if that is comprehensiable much less helpfull....

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- References:
  - Re: First 3 steps- questions-experience-clarification
    - From: "Rawn Clark" <rawnclark@...>

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